Sincere Text Post
I don’t know if y’all read it but Rihanna did an interview with GQ and she said something re: Chris Brown that stuck out to me:
“In my head, it’s gone.”
I was like
because I just had one of those moments where I read someone else’s words and said, “That’s what I’ve been trying to articulate.”
I feel like this is what I spent this year discovering.
We spend so much of our time ruminating on what we should have done or what we wished they did but none of that happened and none of it is going to happen. You can read the words “It’s over” over and over and over again and then you read it one more time after enough time has passed and it clicks - it’s actually over.
It really begins to not even exist anymore.
And you’re brand new.
You’re whoever you want to be.
It’s gone.
I’m not who I was during the relationship with my first boyfriend and I’m not who I was during my last relationship. I’m neither of those people anymore. The fundamentals are there, the basics, the morals, but I feel like, I feel so different than I used to.
Some people might think that’s sad, but I don’t. Me, today, who I am when I walk out the door, is the culmination of every person I’ve ever met. Whether I forgot your name after five minutes at a housewarming party or I slept with you for 18 months, it all happened, it all stopped happening, and every day I’m becoming someone new.
And isn’t that exciting?
I’m not sure why I’m writing this. Maybe as a big ups to my homegirls hurting right now, because we all know how deep you can get into that mode and feel like you’re really never going to feel good again. But God damn. How alive you feel when in your head, it’s gone.
