Top Five Things About Having a Treasure Trove of Gay Boy Friends
And I don’t just mean “someone to shop with” or “someone to gab about boys with LOL.” N00bs. I’m talking next level gay boy friendships, here.
Get schooled:
- The wit. God damn that gay boy wit. Could you ever have this next level convo with a straight guy? Gay boy 1: “What happened? You used to be all sweet and innocent. Did you get hypnotized?” Gay boy 2: “No, I got DICKmatized.” Damn. Well played.
- You will look your best. I know what hair looks best on me, what makeup is most flattering, and which pair of my shoes are the flyest because of my gay boy friends. They will straight up tell you — “I. DO. NOT. like your hair like that,” or “Rethink that top, girl.” Can’t handle it? Fine. Stick with your fleece pullover and str8 men.
- New music overload. I don’t know about other women, but the gays I roll with have some pretty good taste in music. I don’t know where they get all of their new electronic/dance/underground DJ remixes, but it’s coming from somewhere and they love to share.
- Cock blocks when you need ‘em, wing men when you don’t. Diggin’ on a kewl guy? Great. You gay boy friend will head for the hills instead of trying to one-up you like your jealz GF. Getting slammed by a pedophile type in carpenter jeans? Your gay boy friend acts like your real boyfriend. The world is always in harmony.
- New masturbatory material. Gay boys love male models. Straight women love hot celebrity men, but we’re not usually up to snuff on what’s going on in the male model world because we don’t follow mens’ fashion as closely as they do. Gay boys + men’s fashion = links in your inbox to Google Image searches of male models by name. New fapping material 4 daze.
Discuss.
