January 2012
41 posts
Pandora is a cool company. →
I was at this really cool Portugal. The Man show thanks to my pal Graham and that’s when finally put my finger on the “type” of guys I like: something I’m calling “shades of Balki.”
The lead singer John Gourley looks like Balki, is one foot tall, 0 years old, sounds like a woman when he speaks, and I’m pretty sure he’s the love of my life.
Anonymous asked: You give off Latina/Hispanic lady vibes. What's your ethnicity?
Azealia Banks rapped at Karl Lagerfeld's house. →
Like, it is possible on this planet to become a viral rap star via the word “cunt” and end up at Karl Lagerfeld’s house in Paris saying that word to his face.
This is an abundant earth we live on, fellow homo sapiens.
1 tag
But sometimes, you just stub your toe. Sometimes you accidentally leave your curling iron plugged in the entire day while you’re at work, and (GASP!) nothing happens. And sometimes, your ex drunk texts you a picture of a cat dressed like Where’s Waldo.
Here’s a thought: not everything happens for a fucking reason. And I’m asking you to entertain this ideology while attempting to...
Anonymous asked: do you reckon it's ever a good idea to get back with someone who's cheated on you?
GPOY til the day I die.
Here’s a slightly drunk conversation I...
Reblog if you hope they use the word “attractive” in the description of your episode of Intervention should you find yourself in that situation.
Woman from restaurant I ordered from without talking to 1 human via the GrubHub app: Is this Nicole? Sorry, we got your order, we don’t have kale chips…
Me: Oh. What else do you have?
Restaurant lady: Well, if you want a vegetable we have sweet potato fries that are baked, we have peppers, we have broccoli—
Me: Ooh, I’ll take broccoli.
Restaurant lady: Okay, that...
“To be unoffendable is, like, an incredible position of power.”
– Simon Doonan via Vice via Christine
A gal pal sent me this link in an email w/ the... →
“Eels always look like they just told a joke and are waiting for a reaction.”
Me: i don't really like corn products
Alan: ur a bummer 2day
Anonymous asked: You've been in NYC for a couple months now - what advice would you give to this Chicago girl thinking of making the same move?
Does anyone want to hire me to travel the world?
2012 Accomplishments
Didn’t die in a plane crash
Only drank coffee 3x per week (avg.)
Discovered strawberry Chapstick
In Which I Explore My Hatred For Dancing With The...
thatwhitebitch:
I switched from The Today Show to Good Morning America about a year and a half ago and I haven’t looked back. Besides wanting to bone Matt Lauer long and hard, everyone else on that show brought me nothing but grief. Watching Anne Curry repeatedly lube up her nose to shove up Angelina Jolie’s butthole got pretty tiresome and after they did a follow-up on that idiot Paul Karason...
QUALOTTIE [qual - AH - tee] noun Slang a quality hottie
Anonymous asked: How do you know when someone is your soulmate?
Yo, I’m learning that a lot of the country doesn’t know what it’s like to have their boogers freeze. My younger brother uses that as a kind of litmus/friendship test in college when he talks to people from different parts of the country re: the weather: “Have you ever had your boogers freeze?”
Them: “THAT HAPPENS?” I’m not saying I’m better...
