September 2010
97 posts
“I can laugh about it now.”
– Lorena Bobbitt
My boss got a package delivered from Cole Haan. I bring it back to his office.
Boss: Oh, my shoes! These are wild. Wait, you have to see these. My daughter picked them out. She wants me to be a hipster. Totally off the wall.
Me: Ha ha, okay. I like a lot of crazy clothes so I’m sure they’re cool.
He opens the box.
My boss’ new shoe:
Weak, SWV
This one goes out the hot professional...
Just sittin’ up in my room, back here thinkin’ bout all the ~patriots~ commenting on the Rolling Stone article featuring Obama talking about the songs on his iPod that Fox News unsurprisingly spun into a story entitled “President of The United States Loves Gangsta Rap:”
eagletimberwolf: “SINCE HE AIN’T IN THE ALOHA STATE ANYMORE, HE HAD TO TRADE IN THE COOL ...
“K, I think he got off at Armitage. No wedding ring. It’s only a matter of...”
– In a text to Ted re: a stud muffin/business casual ginge man (I know) that I’m stalking via our (two) rides together on the Brown Line
If you’re ever like, “Hmm, I wonder if Nicole has ever seen my pictures on Facebook,” the answer is yes I’VE SEEN ALL THE PICTURES.
ianmjames:
One of my roommates brought back a girl to our room a half hour ago who I swear to god was a cartoon version of a drunk; slurring her words and sloshing a drink all over the place and making out with strangers. Anyway, ho spilled some pink lemonade vodka shit on my ukulele.
Hahahahahah, my brother’s in college.
I have to put together some writing samples for this superbigdeal website/media conglomerate/cultural zeitgeist (no pressure) and I have to recap the Katy Perry “Teenage Dream” video. Basically just trying to articulate this image into 250 words:
I went to a lil birthday get together tonight with a buncha ladies and I said these two sentences:
“If my cat was a human, he would wear glasses.”
“I only like normal bodies,” [re: genetic malformations]
So. That’s me.
Dear "Outsourced," Please Kill Yourself →
daveholmes:
What’s the Hindi word for “schadenfreude?”
OK, I have something to say about Indian Americans. (TL;DR!!!!!)
I know the title of this blog is “That White Bitch” and me and Monica talk about being gay black baptists at heart but the thing about Indians is it’s 2010 and we can’t say shit about any other race ever or we’ll get sued, yet as a culture we...
I met the editor of OK! Magazine at a party last night.
Him: So do you read our publication? Me: I only allow myself gossip magazines when I’m sick or getting on a plane. Him:
One of the greatest misfortunes in life is when you’re eating cookies and grabbing the last one, thinking there’s one more left.
Then there isn’t.
Anonymous asked: The all-American boy that is killer smart and goofy that you shouldn't have, and shows less interest OR the scruffy, buff, one that seems less motivated/excited about life, but still gets you going (ahem, down there) more than anything - and yet still adores you just a little more than you adore him????????
“why do i want to bone everyone on tv but no one irl. oh well i’ll just...”
– Ted and I are cut from the same cloth
Diggin’ On You, TLC
2 tags
“Fuck y’all cheap-ass, bitch-ass motherfuckers.”
– The smartest bum I’ve ever met
drinkyourjuice asked: What if that "NOPE" sign was teenie and a necklace? What if.
“Wynn has a better clientele for sure – joined their club so maybe when we go...”
– Las Vegas, Nevada, is my mother’s Paris, France.
“Peggy’s shift from being impressed that the guy thought she was cool and...”
– Experiencing personal epiphanies one Mad Men recap at a time.
“I want an Australian boyfriend or a reality show.”
– Ted (and the rest of Gen Y)
Thoughts on the CTA: Belmont Bus, 10pm, 9/17/2010
“Can’t believe I’ve never received a dick pic.”
“This bitch has the right idea, puttin liquor in that Dr. Pepper bottle.”
“I can’t believe that one guy carried half of my groceries home that one time my cart broke in the middle of Belmont and didn’t even try to rape me.”
“On the NSYNC “Girlfriend” video on YouTube...
Sometimes I spend time thinking of cool band...
The Flying Buttresses of Notre Dame
Baby Jesus & The Ne’er-Do-Wells
Cooties Cooties Cooties
9/18/10, 2:30pm, broad daylight, Clark & Wellington: I was walking down the street on the way home from last night (platonic multi-person sleepover, Mom) and ran into some of my main gays on a costumed bar crawl/scavenger hunt. They needed someone to take their bra off so they could check it off their list.
I’m your woman.
The First Interview: Meet Josh Simpson, the Man... →
molls:
awesome.
This world is incredible.
“I’ve had to hide a lot of people because of pregnancies.”
– Ted, on his Facebook feed
Notes from Public Transportation
As much as the CTA sucks and can eat a fat dick, I find my commutes to and from work/play to be some of the better parts of my days. It’s just me and my thoughts alone with a bunch of other people and their thoughts. It’s a weird thing, public transporation. You’re sitting in very close proximity to strangers and you have no idea about their lives or their struggles or their...
1 tag
“‘You have a BlackBerry…with no internet’ is the new...”
– Praisin’ myself 4 this one
i-have-rocket-legs asked: how much for a girth shirt?
themidwasteland:
Kanye West - Runaway via...