August 2010
101 posts
1 tag
WARNING
If you guys ladies take my advice and start watching Friday Night Lights because you’ve heard so much about it and then get so completely wrapped up in it that you cry at almost every episode, y’all just better take heed because you will agree that the relationship between Eric and Tami Taylor is “the best marriage on television” and it will ruin your life because...
These two bros walked on the elevator at work yesterday as my iPod was dangling from the headphones because, just like the other 90% of my life, I WAS WASTING PRECIOUS FUCKING TIME UNTANGLING THEM.
One bro: Taking your iPod for a walk?
Me: NO. These. Damn things. I’m. Untangling them.
Other bro: Don’t you hate that?
Me: What I wanna know is how come they haven’t made these...
July 2010
125 posts
I’m having a really hard time accepting the fact that the more I see the “Eat, Pray, Love” commercial the more I want to see the movie.
~Still figuring out who I am over here.~
Forget About Me (feat. Lil’ Wayne & Bun...
Smile if you're winning.: My first hate mail! →
In response to this, which ran Wednesday in the paper.
“Your comments in the red eye were one of the stupidest I have ever heard. people who over dress are insecure about themselves as individuals. This is not 1950 anymore and men want comfort than style. There is no reason to go our t dress…
COOL LETTER, BRO.
“Keep my eyes on the prize/see my haters, tell em HI,” -Nicki...
“That cat is an accountant at a middling office supply company.”
– Alan, re: the cat with the human face
Would anyone like to join me on my crusade to issue a moratorium on the phrase “Just sayin’?”
I was sitting at lunch outside doing a crossword puzzle, watching some babes walk by and from the corner of my ear I hear some dude go “large and professorial…” and I was like:
“Who’s this?! I like da way u usin’ dem werdz, boi.”
But then he was like:
1 tag
Just made my first appointment with an Asian lady to rip all my pubes out on Saturday. *~*I’ll blog about it for you.*~*
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Anonymous asked: you don't really seem that nice, but i'd definitely bang you. is that something you'd consider?
Anonymous asked: wait, im new. wat do you do?
I decided on my first employee purchase at the...
A set of self-stick crystals that say
COOL
WILD
WHATEVER
ststevenenen asked: The Will Smith family are all Scientologists. Does that count? I think it does. .
Not even the most detailed Asian-style emoticon is representative of how I felt about this minute and a half in television history.
Anonymous asked: so, you always have interesting things to say on your blog, so i decided that i would tell you about this song that i think you should check out. it's called "spectacular," and it's by the kiely girl (of cheetah girls fame! raven! come on!) and she says that it's a song to bring attention to girls who get drunk and go to clubs and have unprotected sex. i feel like you...
Anonymous asked: Honestly, all three work on you, but I like the tortoise ones the best. The clear frames are a close second. What are the tortoise shell frames called?
“Why do I love skateboarders so much? I just wanna go to the Mountain Dew games...”
– Monica
2 tags
Notes in my Memo Pad on my Phone
“Bizarro Lanyard Boy”
“Dress code”
“Lol”
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Craft Store Check-Out Convo
Nicole: All set?
7 year old boy: I WAS SO HAPPY YOU HAD PLASTIC GRAPES!
Nicole: ...
7 year old boy: I LOVE SQUEEZING THEM THEY FEEL SO REAL.
“My feel for you, boy, is decaying in front of me like the carrion of a murdered...”
– DAMN, Fiona. 14 years later (TIDAL CAME OUT 14 YEARS AGO*, TIME FOR A LONG HARD LOOK AT YOUR LIFE) and your shit’s deader on than the deadest on mofos in the game today. ~A tip of the hat always and forever~
*Just double checked - it came out 14 years ago TODAY, swear on Taylor...
2 tags
This part-time retail job at the craft store has afforded me the opportunity to reconnect with all the crazy fucking whack jobs in the world. And I love it. During the day I just deal with a-holes in suits over the phone and copy machine problems. But at night? Old bitches in yoga pants with beaded glasses holders, cool teachers going the extra mile in the name of creativity, and brides. O,...
lemocha:
Fiona Apple - Criminal
“When you comfortably fart in front of someone, you love them and they love you.”
– If someone could get this on a cross stitch wall hanging, I’ll give you some money and a P.O. Box to send it to.
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“6 squares dark Bubble Chocolate (it’s a new kind of chocolate that’s aerated, so...”
– This list of 100-Calorie Supermarket Snacks is pretty sad. I’m down with yogurt and Laughing Cow cheese and fruit and shit but when you want a Snickers, you want a Snickers. I mean, reread that: “Aerated so you feel as if you’re getting more.” They put AIR in the chocolate...
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Here I was thinking I’d have to buy a whole new U-lock cuz some asshole neighbor tried to move my bike off the back gate WHILE IT WAS LOCKED TO IT but the dude at Kozy’s Cyclery was like, “Heh, tiger nails?” (they’re zebra but that’s fine) and I was like, “Yeah, I did that last night,” and he was like, “Oh you did it yourself?” and I was...
My dreams are the best. I usually have a really good time when I’m sleeping. Last night was pretty vivid - I was crossing the Brooklyn bridge (recurring dream ) where my ex-boyfriend was going the opposite way (also recurring). (Symbolism!!!!) Then he came back and found me in a coffee shop and harassed me. (Old hat.) Then suddenly I was in a tense situation with a rich lady on the Upper...