February 2010
131 posts
RE: Jesus Christ
Reema: did i ever tell you i thought JESUS' last name was CHRIST up until about a month ago?
Nicole: the whole concept of Jesus is a little hard to understand.
RE: The Grammys
Reema: I DVR'd The Grammys bc I was away for the MJ event - was it good? Should I watch later?
Nicole: No.
1 tag
RE: Bon Jovi
Nicole: h8 bon jovi
Ted: i just went on this whole diatribe about how much i h8 them. everyone here luvs them
Nicole: his voice = poison
Ted: his hair = diarrhia or however u spell it
Nicole: this is excruciating for me
Ted: and it doesn't end
January 2010
163 posts
I told this boy at the bar last night that I liked his face because it was a great face. I approached him and said, “I just want to tell you that I like your face” and he was very polite and gracious but I just keep saying that he had a girlfriend and that’s why we’re not married right now. Maybe he didn’t like that I was snacking on my own bag of salt and vinegar...
1 tag
“Problem is you dudes treat the one that you lovin’ with the same respect...”
– HOVA
date.
whiskeyandgoatsmilk:
punderdog:
I finally got hit on at Black Rabbit by somebody I don’t know and who is very attractive. She walked up to me, grabbed my phone, dialled her own number on it, walked away, then sent me a text message from the other side of the bar.
wow. must try this.
whoa.
“There is no remedy for love but to love more.”
– Henry David Thoreau
(via ingoodtaste)
5 tags
"Listen, Ladies" Pt. 3
Be yourself.
If something makes you uncomfortable, it probably does rightly so. Listen to yourself.
Smile. It’s not hard. Don’t be such a cunt all the time.
Take him up on a movie date offer at his place so you can MAKE OUT! No one just makes out anymore!
No last name, no boning. I mean, IMHO.
That’s fine if he “doesn’t dance” but he at least has to...
kittensinabasket asked: help. my boyfriend says he only likes criss angel a little. I LOVE criss angel. Is this going to tear our relationship apart?
RE: Alcohol-induced racism
[Redacted]: ...and it was the end of the night at the party and I don't know why but I said, 'I need to get out of here. The inter-racials are grossing me out.' WTF! When did I become racist?
Nicole: OMG! You texted him this?
[Redacted]: Swear to God. I was drinking Stella...it makes me aggressive.
Anonymous asked: You find out your ex's new fling is cheating through the internet, but they don't know and you've talked to each other once in the year since you broke up and you dumped them. Do you tell them, put the info in someone else's ear or just let it go and act like you didn't know?
2 tags
P.S. I just found out my homegirl’s been seeing this dude and they’ve done it a few times but he’s never actually touched her vagina and I feel so bad for her. If you’re like, “Wait, what do you mean ‘he’s never touched her vagina?’” It’s exactly how it sounds. They’ve done the deed but his hand has never been on her vagina.
Have you ever dated somebody and/or “did stuff” with someone but you weren’t physically attracted to them?
1 tag
kittensinabasket asked: blonde or red? (or powder puff pink)
“They look like belly button rings.”
– Alan, re: semicolons
aldoushuxtable asked: A friend asked me to define what "Trixies" and "Chads" are. Have at it.
1 tag
Anonymous asked: How much attention is "too much attention" when you want a girl to like you?
“Unfortunately, your application to BeautifulPeople Network was not successful. ...”
1 tag
RE: Watching Gay Porn with Your Gay Friend
Ted: Which one?
Nicole: "Shacked Up." Oh wait, no, "Campus Pizza."
Ted: K.
Nicole: "Watch free hardcore trailer" or "Watch streaming video?"
Ted: Watch free hardcore trailer.
Boozecats →
alansnider:
Combining two of my favorite things about the internet: surreal photoshops and cats.
Thanks Nicole!
UR WELCOME
Geniussss. →
This took me 20 minutes but I got it. Did you?
1 tag
BRB, rubbing 1 out →
James Joyce’s dirty letters.
Anonymous asked: what's your biggest fear?
aldoushuxtable asked: "I would die 4 U" or "Little Red Corvette"?
RE: Porn 4 Ladiez
Alan: Are the set-ups as awkward? "Hi ma'am, I'm here to rub your feet and listen to you tell me about that terrible woman you work with."
Nicole: Yes becuz I like vintage porn.
Alan: Chest pieces and mustaches. Hipster.
---
I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT.
C’mon N’ Ride It (The Train), Quad...
1 tag
Anonymous asked: yeesh. i love your blog. i'm reading it compulsively instead of working on stuff i need to get done. anyway, keep on trucking.
Whoa, guys.
I just got like a bajill followers from that last post. That’s a lot of pressure for the next one. Here it is:
Just found some sandwich remnants in my hair from happy hour.
2 tags
I remember when our office was at our old building on South State Street and it was pretty run down and it always smelled like McDonald’s on account of McDonald’s being next door and there was a nursing school in the building and it’s like a required course, McDonald’s Lunch 101 followed by Taking The Elevator To Go Down One Floor Theory. Okay but anyway, there were a lot...
