September 2009
92 posts
1 tag
Dating 201
Annapurna: let him make the plans
me: o, so in other words, be alone
Annapurna: that is the plan i'm with
me: :D
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*I think she should have said MAKE him make the plans.I learned that from Steve Harvey.*
Which Catbutterfly are you? →
I used to have this tumblr, Catbutterfly. I still have it. This is the Facebook quiz. I need to get back on this shit.
“While you’re sitting in your cubicle this afternoon eating your lunch of...”
– Michael K.
The following drugs were in DJ AM’s system upon his death:
Cocaine - an illicit drug used for its stimulant and euphorigenic properties
Oxycodone - a narcotic alkaloid used as a sedative
Vicodin - a pain killer used to relieve moderate to severe physical ailments
Ativan - a tranquilizer used to treat anxiety and insomnia
Klonopin - an anticonvulsant and muscle relaxant
Xanax - an...
2 tags
My favorite lesbian barista that has made it more than clear she'd like to scissor me on several occasions: Nice hair.
Nicole, who's hair is in the 'growing out' phase and is nowhere near 'nice' at the moment: Ha! Thanks. Wait. Are you joking?
Demeter, Waiting, Rita Dove
poetry365:
No. Who can bear it. Only someone who hates herself, who believes to pull a hand back from a daughter’s cheek is to put love into her pocket— like one of those ashen Christian philosophers, or a war-bound soldier.
She is gone again and I will not bear it. I will drag my grief through a winter of my own making, refuse any meadow that recycles itself into hope. Shit on the...
"The hyphen is seen as messy looking and... →
We’re in the middle of a(n) (r)evolution. I hope you guys know that.
OH man.
I don’t know how I got there but I ended up on a Tumblr of a girl in Hollywood who has a boyfriend in Texas and they met through Tumblr. They write dumb shit back and forth to each other. They’re 19. And then I remembered that my boyfriend at the time and I used to write blogs to each other. On Blogger. HAH.
I can tell by their correspondence that he is going to leave her for a...
"MGD 64, and 64 calories of Chardonnay"
Nicole: That's actually a good amount of wine.
Caitlin: That's kinda how I felt about that commercial.
As I sit here thinking about Where are all the good guys I think about all the women who are doing the same thing, not only here in my building, but in my neighborhood, in my city, in my country, and all around the world. Geez.
What your amount of Facebook friends says about...
0 - 50: You just joined Facebook.
51 - 100: You’re a mom who joined Facebook to spy on your kid and found a bunch of younger coworkers willing to friend you.
101 - 250: You are a decent person with a good head on your shoulders.
251 - 300: That’s, like, a lot of people to be friends with.
301 - 350: That’s even more people to be friends with. You must get those Living...
I think you meant WHAT.
Nicole: A medium coffee, cream and sugar.
Dunkin' Donuts 'Team Member': CREAM N WHO?
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Nicole: Can I get some salt?
McDonald's 'Team Member': SOME WHO?
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Ulta Cosmetics Customer 1: Gurl, shu we get some FACE MASKS n shit?
Ulta Cosmetics Customer 2: SOME WHO?
In line at the Chicago Auto Pound, Winter 2008...
Darielle: Hey gurl, what kinda phone you got?
Nicole: ...a Samsung.
Darielle: That's nice. Real nice. You got Bluetoof on there?
Nicole: ...no...
Darielle: HOW BOUT YOU BLUETOOF ME YO NUMBA.
Nicole: ...I don't have Bluetooth.
Darielle: HOW BOUT YOU GIVE ME YO NUMBA.
Nicole: No?
...
Darielle: What's yo name, gurl?
Nicole: Nicole.
Darielle: That's nice. Real nice. My name Darielle. Can you say "Darielle?"
Nicole: ..."Dar-ee-ell."
Darielle: I like the way you say dat.
...
Darielle: SO HOW BOUT YOU BLUETOOF ME YOU NUMBA.
(Everyone is laughing.)
Nicole: ...
Darielle: HOW BOUT YOU GIVE ME YO EMAIL ADDRESS.
Time's 100 Best Novels, 1923 - Present
The Adventures of Augie March, Saul Bellow
All the King’s Men, Robert Penn Warren
American Pastoral, Philip Roth
An American Tragedy, Theodore Dreiser
Animal Farm, George Orwell
Appointment in Samarra, John O’Hara
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, Judy Blume
The Assistant, Bernard Malamud
At Swim-Two-Birds, Flann O’Brien
Atonement, Ian McEwan
Beloved, Toni...
1 tag
You can spend a good hour waiting for a Vicodin to kick in jumping from related video to related video watching different “R&B” artists singing the National Anthem on YouTube. I can’t end this post without linking to R. Kelly’s (his “remix,” naturally).
I think I have a problem.
I’m embarrassed about my music.
And here’s the thing: I don’t think I have “bad” taste in music. I really don’t. I like a lot of different kinds of music. Many, many, many kinds. In relation to my age group, youth culture, professional status, et cetera, my taste seems to be (on a 1 (Top 40) to 10 (Super obscure shit that all sounds stupid and arty) scale)...
I think Jordan Mozer just hit on me in the elevator.
Nicole: You going to Phil's thing tomorrow?
Ted: Yes, maybe I will find another crush there.
Nicole: Is it all gays? I need to know whether to look nice (for the straights) or REALLY nice (for the gays).
Ever look at pictures of people you used to want to be or be with and think Phew?
I probably woulda accidentally had a kid with him,... →
1 tag
Mojito Wednesdays →
This joke’s gonna be in my system for a while. Sorry 2004 to my friends and loved ones.
NOOOOOOOO!
I know I’m late on this but I just got the new Safari (along with a million other things because I haaaaate updating my computer the same way I hate helping people look for their keys/purse/cell phone [I don’t do it]- iTunes has radio stations now?) and now when you start a new tab suddenly there’s a GOD DAMN SPREADSHEET with your “favorite” sites listed?
#badidea...
“Sears has better deals this fall :(”
– A Kohl’s Facebook fan