May 2008
5 posts
3 tags
Love me.
I work in a small office of 10 people, two of them being my very, very good friends. They’re both gone today, gallivanting about the city and therefore not included in our email group. There exists eight people in this email group. All friends, most of which I went to college with. We discuss the quasi-hatred for our jobs, how everyone we know is getting married, who we can make out with...
3 tags
Plop plop plop.
I’ve done some audacious things in the wash closet. I’ve flushed tampon applicators when there was a clear and discernible sign instructing me not to. I’ve brought the work bathroom key into the stall with me, smirking when coworkers are forced to handle my post-pee pre-hand wash token of grossness. And one time in college I made out with my boyfriend in a house party washroom....
1 tag
First Name "Just Leave This Fucking Space Blank"...
So legend has it I’m on the internet a lot. What can I say, I’m a forward thinker. I enjoy learning things about space, laughing at cat videos, and writing a thing or two. I write reviews on a website called Yelp. I’ve reviewed my local grocery store and florist, as well as masturbation and the North Avenue Bridge. If I have an opinion about it, I’m going to share. As Dad...
2 tags
And Scooby Doo. On Channel 2.
Astrology.com sent me a Happy Birthday email exactly one hour and 59 minutes too early. One day in a desperate fit of instantaneous reassurance I forfeited you my zip code. You are an electronically run distribution program. Central time zone. Do the math. Geesh. While I’ve been spending days thinking about which home cleaning supply survey or Nielsen Ratings pamphlet I can fill out so I...
:-(
There are many areas in my life where I not only allow but also appreciate superfluity - my bank account, free alcoholic beverages, the amount of cookies I may have in the pantry at any given time… There is, however, one place where I not only reject superfluity but detest the thought of others even participating. I am referring to The Emoticon. We can thank Scott Fahlman, a computer...