February 2012
19 posts
Listen
Ted: this is good [link to Brandon Flowers video]
Nicole: HE IS SO FUCKING HOT
Ted: yes
Nicole: u know he's mormon?
Ted: I KNOW!
Ted: he has holy underwear
Nicole: i want to sit on his face
“Every man who likes jazz is psychotic.”
– Thinking about releasing a book full of one-sentence advice…
One quirk/mental problem about me is that I saw a psychic on Michigan Avenue in Chicago in 2006 and she told me a lot of things. Many of them have come true. One thing she told me specifically that I like to act like I forgot but really I think about all the time is that my “soulmate” (her words, not mine) will have something to do with the letter “D.” It was something...
Here are some comments that were left on...
“Hi Nikki, haven’t g-mailed you since last year, the radio told me there is...”
– verbatim email from my uncle
The girl I remember most from junior high for the open faced period underwear I found in her room married a major hunk. Life is beautiful.
— Nicole James (@thatwhitebitch) February 10, 2012
I don’t feel that this tweet got the respect it deserves when I posted it at 1:30am last night. Re-posting here for recognition.
1 tag
I mean, saw this in real time when this show aired but this is the first time seeing this GIF and DEAD.
DIED.
I DIE.
I DIED.
I’M DEAD
Two points I'm going to make regarding stories I...
1. Okay, this girl in Alaska is missing. Not trying to be insensitive, I hope the family finds her and that she’s okay, in good health and not too traumatized by what may or may not have happened. But this is where she worked:
In a coffee shack. Pretty sure a job requirement to working in a rural Alaskan coffee shack is going missing. O_O Hope you’re okay, girl. :(
2. They did a...
MTV Buzzworthy is looking for a P.A. →
It’s permalance, so that kinda blows, but it’s ~a foot in the door.~ Plus, I can boss you around! NO CREEPS OR DUMMIES. NYC only. Email me if you are qualified and interested and/or know someone who is. We need help!
Anonymous asked: Any advice for someone looking to write as a career? I majored in something completely different and after I graduated I fell out of love with what I was doing. I've only had a few (non-paid) gigs so I don't even know where to start looking. Any resources you recommend? Are there any you feel are a waste of time? Any help would be much appreciated.
Anonymous asked: Hey Nicole, I need some advice. My ex and I had an on/off again relationship for about 9 months (it took me that long to realize he didnt really know what he wanted and was a pretty selfish person in general). Then it took me another 4 months to get myself together and feel happy again. Now all of a sudden he's been calling me. I finally called back but now we're in a game of phone tag....
January 2012
41 posts
Pandora is a cool company. →
I was at this really cool Portugal. The Man show thanks to my pal Graham and that’s when finally put my finger on the “type” of guys I like: something I’m calling “shades of Balki.”
The lead singer John Gourley looks like Balki, is one foot tall, 0 years old, sounds like a woman when he speaks, and I’m pretty sure he’s the love of my life.
Anonymous asked: You give off Latina/Hispanic lady vibes. What's your ethnicity?
Azealia Banks rapped at Karl Lagerfeld's house. →
Like, it is possible on this planet to become a viral rap star via the word “cunt” and end up at Karl Lagerfeld’s house in Paris saying that word to his face.
This is an abundant earth we live on, fellow homo sapiens.
1 tag
But sometimes, you just stub your toe. Sometimes you accidentally leave your curling iron plugged in the entire day while you’re at work, and (GASP!) nothing happens. And sometimes, your ex drunk texts you a picture of a cat dressed like Where’s Waldo.
Here’s a thought: not everything happens for a fucking reason. And I’m asking you to entertain this ideology while attempting to...
Anonymous asked: do you reckon it's ever a good idea to get back with someone who's cheated on you?
GPOY til the day I die.
Here’s a slightly drunk conversation I...
Reblog if you hope they use the word “attractive” in the description of your episode of Intervention should you find yourself in that situation.
Woman from restaurant I ordered from without talking to 1 human via the GrubHub app: Is this Nicole? Sorry, we got your order, we don’t have kale chips…
Me: Oh. What else do you have?
Restaurant lady: Well, if you want a vegetable we have sweet potato fries that are baked, we have peppers, we have broccoli—
Me: Ooh, I’ll take broccoli.
Restaurant lady: Okay, that...
“To be unoffendable is, like, an incredible position of power.”
– Simon Doonan via Vice via Christine
A gal pal sent me this link in an email w/ the... →
“Eels always look like they just told a joke and are waiting for a reaction.”
Me: i don't really like corn products
Alan: ur a bummer 2day
Anonymous asked: You've been in NYC for a couple months now - what advice would you give to this Chicago girl thinking of making the same move?
Does anyone want to hire me to travel the world?
