January 2012
34 posts
Azealia Banks rapped at Karl Lagerfeld's house. →
Like, it is possible on this planet to become a viral rap star via the word “cunt” and end up at Karl Lagerfeld’s house in Paris saying that word to his face.
This is an abundant earth we live on, fellow homo sapiens.
1 tag
But sometimes, you just stub your toe. Sometimes you accidentally leave your curling iron plugged in the entire day while you’re at work, and (GASP!) nothing happens. And sometimes, your ex drunk texts you a picture of a cat dressed like Where’s Waldo.
Here’s a thought: not everything happens for a fucking reason. And I’m asking you to entertain this ideology while attempting to...
Anonymous asked: do you reckon it's ever a good idea to get back with someone who's cheated on you?
GPOY til the day I die.
Here’s a slightly drunk conversation I...
Reblog if you hope they use the word “attractive” in the description of your episode of Intervention should you find yourself in that situation.
Woman from restaurant I ordered from without talking to 1 human via the GrubHub app: Is this Nicole? Sorry, we got your order, we don’t have kale chips…
Me: Oh. What else do you have?
Restaurant lady: Well, if you want a vegetable we have sweet potato fries that are baked, we have peppers, we have broccoli—
Me: Ooh, I’ll take broccoli.
Restaurant lady: Okay, that...
“To be unoffendable is, like, an incredible position of power.”
– Simon Doonan via Vice via Christine
A gal pal sent me this link in an email w/ the... →
“Eels always look like they just told a joke and are waiting for a reaction.”
Me: i don't really like corn products
Alan: ur a bummer 2day
Anonymous asked: You've been in NYC for a couple months now - what advice would you give to this Chicago girl thinking of making the same move?
Does anyone want to hire me to travel the world?
2012 Accomplishments
Didn’t die in a plane crash
Only drank coffee 3x per week (avg.)
Discovered strawberry Chapstick
In Which I Explore My Hatred For Dancing With The...
thatwhitebitch:
I switched from The Today Show to Good Morning America about a year and a half ago and I haven’t looked back. Besides wanting to bone Matt Lauer long and hard, everyone else on that show brought me nothing but grief. Watching Anne Curry repeatedly lube up her nose to shove up Angelina Jolie’s butthole got pretty tiresome and after they did a follow-up on that idiot Paul Karason...
QUALOTTIE [qual - AH - tee] noun Slang a quality hottie
Anonymous asked: How do you know when someone is your soulmate?
Yo, I’m learning that a lot of the country doesn’t know what it’s like to have their boogers freeze. My younger brother uses that as a kind of litmus/friendship test in college when he talks to people from different parts of the country re: the weather: “Have you ever had your boogers freeze?”
Them: “THAT HAPPENS?” I’m not saying I’m better...
December 2011
33 posts
alansnider asked: top three gummies go.
Some Quotes I Found In My High School Diary
Describing a birthday party: “[It was full of] superficial, self-absorbed, foolish teenagers.”
“It takes extra special people to understand me.”
“We thought he was a freshman cuz he had a huge backpack.”
“What a God damn stupid comment to make.”
“Because I’m worth it!!!!”
“I was excited that somebody actually noticed my...
“Look at these fuckin’ chodes.”
– My dad, on Teen Mom 2
Listen
I was listening to some Taylor Swift on the plane home, she’s my guilty pleasure, and there’s this song “Speak Now” and it’s about her barging in on a wedding during the “Speak now or forever hold your piece” part. In her fantasy the dude who’s marrying the wrong woman is too pussy to say anything so TayTay comes in and saves the day and they run off...
WatchOne day I will tell you the story of this man giving me his phone number and asking me on a date.
I just discovered a 1-question test to help me...
Did you also want to be a Fly Girl on “In Living Color”?
I usually keep my mouth shut about politics because I don’t follow it closely enough to formulate sturdy viewpoints that even stand a chance in an argument re: not caring. And my Reader is full of pop culture blogs for work purposes. But I heard on the news today that Kim Jong Un’s classmates described him as: “shy,” “enjoyed comic books,” and...
Anonymous asked: Can you share the story of your first kiss?
