Monday July 21, 2014 at 0:06

14 notes

Quiz

Which of these things did we find in a bag of chips on our kitchen counter tonight:
a) the fountain go youth
b) a mouse
c) Adele
d) the last Discman

If you guessed B you are correct and I want to die.

Wednesday July 09, 2014 at 12:26

151 notes
“You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female.’”

— Diana Vreeland

(Source: flare.com)

Tuesday July 01, 2014 at 14:04

23 notes
Hi! Wanted to let you know that after a short but sweet stopover at Bravo, I’m joining team Snapchat. I would tell you what I’m doing over there, but then I’d have to kill ya. Gross!
Snap me at nicolerjames. :D And stay tuned!

Hi! Wanted to let you know that after a short but sweet stopover at Bravo, I’m joining team Snapchat. I would tell you what I’m doing over there, but then I’d have to kill ya. Gross!

Snap me at nicolerjames. :D And stay tuned!

Wednesday June 18, 2014 at 10:25

22 notes

Overheard in the elevator at work this morning: 

Girlfriend getting off on the 7th floor: “Alright, see you later.”
Boyfriend getting off later: “I love you.”
Girlfriend: “OK.

Thursday June 05, 2014 at 10:58

1 note

Wednesday June 04, 2014 at 16:28

14 notes

LOL @ Proctor & Gamble’s ad agency.

"MALE TERRAIN."

Get bent.

Tuesday June 03, 2014 at 21:39

32,043 notes
bird-jesus:

i can’t stop fucking laughing at this fucking fish. boops boops. it’s literal, real scientic name is boops boops.
boops boops in a bucket
B. boops

bird-jesus:

i can’t stop fucking laughing at this fucking fish. boops boops.
it’s literal, real scientic name is boops boops.

boops boops in a bucket

B. boops

(Source: yourbrains)

This post was reblogged from cvxn.

Monday June 02, 2014 at 13:28

23 notes

Anonymous said: My boyfriend (we're both 23) is severely depressed and doesn't seem to want to get help for it. He 's pretty much resigned to the fact that he just won't be happy. Ever. How can I help him? I'm trying my best, but I'm not really equipt to handle it. It's starting to take a toll on me/our relationship.

The cold, hard truth about this situation is that beyond a certain point, you can’t really help anyone. In an ideal world, we’d all enter relationships as complete and whole people who have faults and flaws, actively recognize them and take the appropriate steps to remedy them and/or try to make them manageable for our own well-being. This is very rarely the case. People enter relationships during many different intervals of their well-being: sometimes shit blows up, other times we all just kind of hang on by the skin of our teeth. (Romance!)

I had a boyfriend with depression. I don’t think I have ever been depressed, and I really couldn’t understand his ordeal. I think this was a major rift between us. I would often try to reason with him the way I would reason with myself when I was feeling down: “It’s not that bad,” “One day at a time,” “You just need some sleep,” etc. These suggestions would drive him crazy because I “just didn’t understand.” So I would say, “Well maybe you should talk to someone about it.” To which he would reply, “I don’t want to”/”I already have”/”That didn’t work last time.” To which I would reply, “Maybe you can take something that will help you.” To which he would reply, “I don’t like the way those pills make me feel”/”I don’t want to have to take anything.” It was a never-ending circle.

At the time, I just thought I was doing my duty as a good girlfriend to get him to cheer up. Looking back, I realize how much effort I put into making him feel better. And not trying to make him feel good — just trying to make him feel OK.

To put it bluntly, that shit ain’t right. I don’t blame my ex-boyfriend or your boyfriend or think lesser of those guys or anyone who needs help overcoming something in their lives. We’re all in a shitty spot at some point along the way, aren’t we? But I think in order to be in a committed partnership with someone, they should be willing to say, “Hey, this is a thing about me that could be a hinderance. I don’t think it’s your duty as my partner to try to fix it, so I’m going to work to try to make this better for myself. It would be pretty cool to have your support during this process, but I understand if you gotta split.” But, like, LOL. No one is that self-actualized.

I can’t tell you to stick it out or to hit the road. No one can tell anyone that. But if you ultimately decide that this relationship is a strain on you, and the bad times are outweighing the good on a prolonged and consistent basis, do not feel bad about leaving. You will, because you’re a person, but remember that you’re trying to get your own life right, too. I know you want to help this guy, but that’s not your job. If he’s adamantly against trying to better the situation and sees that this is taking a toll on you, something’s gotta give at some point.

Best of luck, sister. Remember: you’re doing the best you can.

Friday May 30, 2014 at 10:58

6 notes

Bernhoft | Come Around

Serving Hall & Oates realness.

Wednesday May 28, 2014 at 14:58

23,439 notes

(Source: lucifelle)

This post was reblogged from b-r-double o-k-lyn drama.

Wednesday May 28, 2014 at 12:00

35 notes

I just read Amy Schumer’s Ms. Gala speech and was almost in tears at the end of it. She spoke about the fragile girl she was in college and how one encounter with some limp dirtbag reminded her, “Wait, this isn’t me. This isn’t what I imagined for myself. I have thoughts and feelings and a brain and even though I’m this dude’s very last option for a booty call at 8 in the morning, I’m still worthy because he’s just one dude and and fuck that guy and I determine my own worth.” Even if her whole schtick isn’t for you, the speech is really great and you should read it.

I know all women have been that fragile college freshman at some point — for me, it was high school. I remember the way I used to feel going to school every day. It’s 15 years later and I remember those feelings very strongly. I didn’t feel accepted. I wasn’t a complete outcast who was made fun of relentlessly because I wasn’t even important enough to be noticed. I felt like my whole existence was lived entirely under the social radar.

But because I grew up in a great family that made me laugh at myself and because makeover montages always spoke to my soul, I always knew there was definitely a foxy swan inside waiting to get out of that 16-year-old ugly duckling costume in a Pizza Hut uniform — and there was! In college, I came out of my shell physically and emotionally. I wasn’t under the radar anymore.

image

I knew a little bit about what I thought confidence should be at that time, but I don’t think I completely understood it — the byproduct of that misunderstanding was a huge boost in my ego based on this newfound attention from guys. And I thought because of this attention, because of this coming of age, that this was me now — a totally foxy swan that would just feel on top of the world forever.

But a comment on Amy’s speech reminded me that’s not how confidence works. Someone wrote, “Well, she didn’t seem very confident on Jimmy Fallon.” And someone else replied, “Perhaps she is confident sometimes and not all the time?”

I might disappoint you for a second, but this is something you should know: You don’t “solve” confidence — you work on that shit. Forever.

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Let that Internet comment serve as a reminder to anyone who might read this who doesn’t walk into every room like Justin Bieber walks into a kitchen with a mop bucket — you’re not going to be 100 percent confident 100 percent of the time. You’re going to encounter new situations that put you way outside your comfort zone. It’s nice that you started to feel better about yourself physically when you grew into your giant teeth and your zits went away when you were 20, but no one cares about that when your boss is asking you how to solve a problem you have no idea how to solve in a room filled with your 10 smartest, most respected coworkers.

Confidence is a very specific combination of a whole bunch of things you think about yourself. Sometimes, yeah, it comes from how banging you look in that new dress. Other times it comes from your big, beautiful brain. Other times you feel it when you do something nice for a stranger. Confidence is like one of those bullshit “The limit is 0” calculus equations that you keep getting different answers for — you thought you understood it the last time you attempted to solve it. But now you’re totally confused again.

Maybe you’ll never fully understand confidence, and maybe that’s a good thing. That means you haven’t figured it all out, that you haven’t seen it all. You’re taking risks, you’re getting scared, you’re feeling unsure of yourself — that means your growing as a person, girlfriend.

In conclusion, take it away, Demi Lovato:

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Monday May 19, 2014 at 11:21

11 notes

Thursday May 15, 2014 at 20:09

17 notes
Hoping you all have a mom who understands you the way mine does.

Hoping you all have a mom who understands you the way mine does.

Wednesday May 14, 2014 at 18:06

34 notes

Anonymous said: Hey nicole, im about to graduate college soon! However, Ive been growing apart from some of my main friendgroup (since freshman yr) this past schoolyear. Most of us will be in the area after we graduate but it feels weird that I wont always have that social security blanket there. Ive been meeting some great people these past few months as Ive ventured outside campus and my comfort zone but its still scary! Any advice? And are you still close with your college friends now? Thanks!

First off, congrats on graduating college — life is about to get really weird and fun. You won’t believe you can come home from work and have NO HOMEWORK. It’s truly a dream that I’m still thankful for every day.

Here’s the cold, hard truth: Shit’s about to change…A lot. I only have 31 years under my belt, so maybe it’s too early for a case study, but I would easily say the few years after college were the most tumultuous of my life. I have never felt more change in a shorter period of time.

My world first got rocked by a super traj breakup with my college boyfriend, a relationship I thought would last forever. I literally thought I was dying. Then, my best friend got married — she and her now husband basically had a surprise wedding. (It’s mostly because of family — it’s hard when half of them live in India. Sometimes you gotta have a pop-up wedding!) That affected me a lot more than I thought it would because even though I was so happy for her and knew this was right for her, I couldn’t help but feel a bit left out. All the meanwhile I was trying to find my footing at some kind of job. I was driving two hours (both ways) to this six-month temp assignment I knew was ending soon. (Spoiler alert: Six months goes by a lot quicker when you’re out of school —  these days, it goes by in a second.) I felt frustrated and scared that I didn’t have some kind of award-winning career path carved out in front of me and when I looked to the future, it was incredibly murky. Not bad murky, but not good murky. Just…hard to see through.

So all this stuff was going on: my heart was broken, my best friend got married, I was totally aimless at “work”… And on top of all of that, all of my other friends were going through the exact same things. It’s a roller coaster. 

You’re going to find out a lot about people in the next few years. Paths will deviate, some of them extremely. The people you never saw being adventurous will pick up to Punta Cana and become a snorkel instructor. The girl who never had a boyfriend will meet the love of her life and post about their wedding on Facebook for the next 400 days. A guy you casually studied Econ with will die in a car accident — sorry, someone has to say it.

Despite how horrible all of these things sound, the silver lining is totally great. Just like the people around you, you’re also going to be finding your own way. And you might end up doing some really wild stuff, too. Like becoming really close to a girl you knew in high school and college but never fully connected with. Or getting stupid-drunk with someone you never really thought you cared for at a free Rusted Root concert in the park.

I definitely still have friends from college, and they mean everything to me. My best friend who got married, I’ve known her since 7th grade and she’s still my best friend to this day. Though we’re not traditional best friends — we don’t talk all the time — I know until the day I die that she loves me x infinity and I love her x infinity. I met my other best friend Ted in college, but were only really surface friends until a couple years after we graduated. Ted came out to me in a photo booth in a bar in Pilsen when we were 25 and we’ve been great, deep friends ever since. He lives in New York now, too, and I love him so, so, so much. There are others I don’t see as much or talk to as much but I know they’re there for me and I hope they know I’m there for them. Personally, I made most of my good friends in college, but everyone’s different!

This is your time, girl! You’re lucky enough to have made it through to the other side with what sounds like a dece friend group in tow. You have an education, which is something a lot of people don’t have the luxury of receiving, and like that amazing David Foster Wallace commencement speech, that means you get TO CHOOSE. You’ll be overwhelmed with the choices in front of you — sometimes you’ll make the right ones, sometimes you’ll make the wrong ones. Congrats, you’re human!

I know that going outside your comfort zone is terrifying, as it is for literally every person. But it really is the fastest way to grow as a person. My biggest tip when you’re wading through the crap: Just let go. You can’t stop your best friend from getting married just so you can stay in your perfect 7th grade bubble forever…that’s a slippery slope to assuring you’ll end up as a featured guest on some kind of TLC program. And if your shithead boyfriend wants to break up with you for an intern at work, let him. That dude fucking sucks.

When in doubt, remember the basics — have some cocktails, kiss who you wanna kiss, and hang out with people who make you feel good! And always wear condoms.

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Tuesday May 13, 2014 at 0:04

24 notes

Called my grandma yesterday for Mother’s Day (which I don’t do nearly enough on days that aren’t Mother’s Day) and it was so nice talking to her. I feel grateful that she’s still in good health despite some fairly minor hearing and vision problems. But she’s in her late 80s, like, your eyes cannot work forever.

We chatted about what’s going on in the family (it’s a big one) and how I’m doing and our recent vacation and I could hear the TV in her apartment the whole time. Before we hung up the phone she talked about how grounded my mom is (word) and what a sweet girl I am. And I paused because that’s not a word I would use to describe me and that’s not a word I would think others in my daily life would use to describe me.

But then I think about it more and my demeanor when I’m not trying too hard and when I’m just like, off the clock being the chill chick that I am deep down and maybe I am sweet, you know? Grandmas know some shit, man — I think the point of getting older is to figure it out, day by day. And after that much trial and error, you have a whole lot of data backing up all the mini experiments that went right and all the ones that went wrong (like dating a radio DJ).

So maybe Grandma’s data is accurate. She didn’t have to say “sweet.” She totally could have been polite and said “observant” or “motivated (when you give a shit)” or “short-torsoed.” Grandma’s not gonna fluff you up — if nobody got time for that, it’s grandmas.

IDK, thinking about embracing the sweet a little bit more. It’s hard being hard all the time.

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